8/2/2011 12:08 PM
I can only give you some general advice/points since I only have a few details about your life.
1 Make a list pro and con on making the move, share it with some one who knows you well (wife, sibling, parent, best friend).
2 You feel unstable , why? Reflect on what is making you feel unstable, is it a bad attitude more then signals from the owner.
3 Have you had a formal evaluation of your performance with your employer. Even if they can not afford to give you a raise they should give you a performance review and this would give you a better picture of where you stand.
4 A owner/employer who does not give some sort of merit increase for 4 years is making a statement. Perhaps it is "we can not afford you" or "Our business is shaky and you may just be lucky to have a job". Ask your direct supervisor "Should I expect to ever get a raise?" I have learned that you have to have this difficult conversation.
You have to take care of yourself. If you have a opportunity to change jobs in hand, now is the time to find out just what your position is with your present employer, but don't bluff, be committed to find out and follow through. Good luck!